The end of the year is approaching, a little to quickly for my liking, surely it was only the other day we were wishing each other well with the New Year?

Resolutions... not sure why I bother, I never stick to them, some I never start!

So ...
1. Eat more healthily and try and shift some excess baggage.
2. Exercise more and try and shift some excess baggage
3. Write more,, or write. and shift some excess baggage.

stop procrastinating.

Get on and do it.

I'd also like to take up somesort of craft, not sure what, cross stitch or something similar to occupy my fingers and keep me away from Tweeting and Pinterst every evening!.

Happy new Year. Happy New You.
 

neglecting

Oh! way back in February I "committed" myself to blogging weekly.
and then didnt come back for 6 weeks.

I must try harder

think I read that on a school report once or twice.....

Blogging

I see I have neglected the blogging! I've not had any time (see previous posts)!!
Actually I've had loads of time, I've just spent that time doing other things
Tweeting - dont get me started!
Updating my Facebook status AND commenting and "liking" everyone else's status.
I've read and forwarded more "you will be rich if you email this to 10 friends in 10minutes" emails than I can count.. strangely I'm still not rich.... I blame that person somewhere in the chain who deletes them without reading them!!
Reading. I've read supernatural tales, laugh out aloud chick-lit, historical tales, classics, some books that when I've got tot he last page I've looked for the last chapter.. surely it doesnt end like THAT.
If I have time for all that, surely I can spare a few minutes to blog.
So today I'm making a commitment to blogging once a week.

So much for my "must blog more" resolution!

It's a Sunday. August Bank Holiday weekend. Town is bustling with holiday makers in pac-a-macs. The sun keeps making a cheeky appearance, gets us excited with plans of lying on the decking, sitting on the sandy beach and bbq for supper... and then it all goes dark and wet, again.

Thoughs of an afternoon curled up with book, laptop and some soppy made-for-tv-based-on-real-story film has been ruined by motorsport... ah well.... I may go and curl up in the silence of the spare bedroom instead. and watch those rain clouds tease the sunshine. Watch the motorhomes and caravans pull up the long hill in the distance. Be thankful that I am not on holiday wondering around town (most of which is closed on a Sunday).

100 word challenge

Around the table the adults sat in silence, the children giggled noisily, until Grandmother put down her fork “of course in my day the children would be in the growlery”

Husband took a large loud sigh. “Please Gran, don’t make up words!” he said looking at his 6 year old impressionable twins.

“Oh yes you’d like to start a brabble right here at the table!” she pointed her knife at him.

“Mother!” admonished my father-in-law, nodding his head towards the children.

“What?” she asked innocently. “this generation has foozled the English language beyond recognition” with that she took another mouthful.

Lucky to be alive

No this isnt a heroic tale of an escape from danger, overcoming a serious illness or accident, nor is it a story of a near-miss, if we'd been there two moments earlier/later....

The other day we had a team meeting in work followed by 9 of us changing our clothing for jeans and sweatshirts and waking boots and then went for a walk in the warm March late afternoon sun. We climbed up a hill, and then sat for a while, watching the sun slip down behind the ridge, heather and gorse not yet in their full glory waved it goodbye.   The only sound was birdsong. We challenged each other to pick out the nearest house, who could see a telegraph pole, a road, traffic, any other people.

At times like this I do feel lucky to be alive and live where I do. With the people who live here. Family, friends even work colleagues who share the same vision, the same feeling of being at peace and at the same time invigorating view that we had from our high vantage point.

Tea and the vicar.

“It is impolite to speak of people over dinner whom the others don’t know” my  mother in law said between bites.
I had been telling husband a little ancetode about someone we both knew, but his mother did not. I felt my wrists slapped.  She then proceeded to talk about people of whom I didn’t know, and more to the point didn’t care.
In fact she took to talking about people I didn’t know for the next 8 years. Yes, she didn’t just come to supper she lived with us, breathed the same air.

I felt the familiar shrug of my shoulders that I had now perfected so that I felt it but it didn’t show.

“Of course you should have the new vicar over one afternoon” I realised this surreal sentence was aimed at me.

“sorry?”

“the new vicar, in my day we’d have had him over already of course, but as you don’t even go to church.” this last part of the sentence was said in an accusing tone. You’d think to hear her I worshipped black magic, danced around bonfires and read out odd incantations at midnight.  The fact that I went to a chapel was far from the point. That didn’t count in mother in laws beliefs.

“does your friend still go to church?” my mind scrambled for who that friend might be, so answered with a safe “no, not now”.

“Shame, we could have asked her too. I suppose Jean could come”

“She doesn’t go to this church” - that was my husband's only contribution to the conversastion

“but at least Jean GOES to church” said mother in law again. I banged plates into the sink “and be careful with those plates!”

I wanted to swing around and say “how old am I? who’s house do you live in ?” but decided it was only giving fuel to an already full on blaze.

“I’ll ring Jean tomorrow and see if she can do Thursday”

“Do what on Thursday” I was asking.

“Tea with the vicar, I do wish you’d pay attention. I shall have to go and lie down for a while, you’ll manage this wont you?” and off she trotted, having conveniently forgotten her offer to help clear up the supper table.

Nothing

I've just had a whole week off my paid-work!..  and what have I done..... "nothing".  and actually I really enjoyed that.
 Yes we've had a few walks, entertained family for supper or tea. Did some shopping. Cleaned the house, ironed, swept the decking, cooked, read, did some family tree research. Sorted out some old photographs and scanned them onto the computer. I chatted on Facebook and Twitter. BUT most of all I did nothing.
And so refreshed from a week of nothing, I may do something...   

Stressing out.

Apparently there is now something amiss if you are not stressed out.

Unless you spend your "free time" - ie not in your place of work. Running around, driving hundreds of miles, hardly having time to breathe , then you are very dull.

When I had a long weekend recently a work colleague asked whether I'd had a good time. "yes, brilliant" I replied. "oh?" said she "did you go away?", "no" says me. " on Saturday I cleaned and washed and tidied, in the afternoon I did some garden tidy up". - frown number one appeared on her face.
"Saturday night I cooked us a roast chicken with all the trimmings, and made an apple tart". I say with proud smile "oh what a shame you couldnt go out to eat" says she.
"on Sunday we went for a long walk, and in the afternoon I read my book and then watched a weepy film on TV"
"on the Monday, I sorted out some old photos and scanned them onto the computer, made some scones and had a very long bath"
"so you didnt do anything, there's a pity" said she. and proceeded to tell me how "terribly busy" she'd been, with "no time" (see other blog post) to anything like housework, cooking, relaxing or gardening.

No time

I've recently discovered a new phenomena - called "no time"


Both in my personal life and in work I constant find that people are saying they have "no time".
 What's worse is that I now feel guilty that I "had time".

Typical conversation.
me: I got 4 new books from the library on Saturday and spend Sunday afternoon reading.
work colleague: Oh I don't "have time" to read, let alone sit down on a Sunday Or go to the library.
in one fell swoop I feel guilty for all 3.
Me: I've spend my afternoon off doing some family history (thus not admitting to sitting down doing nothing which is what people say I'm doing when I'm reading)
Other colleague: Oh I don't have time on my day off to do things I want.

So what am I to do. So far this year I've told someone what I've done or what I plan to do and I've had
"I don't have time to go walking"
"I don't have time to watch films"
" I don't have time to decorate spare bedrooms"
"I don't have time to cook"

Yes YES I get the picture. I am obviously the only person with time. Or do I just make time for these things. No I don't have children (yes I heard you all say "oh well then..." and I am resisting the urge to say "I don't have time for children").

But regardless of whether I have children or not. Why should I be made to feel bad for doing things that I have time to do.

wrong or write

I've been going about this whole blogging thing wrong!  I log in say I'll do a new post. then log out again and go off to read other people's blogs. On the whole these are excellent, witty, moving, thoughtful, clever, educational. I then get an attack of the "who'd want to read my rubbish" and dont bother.

My new approach is this: just write. just type what comes into my head. It doesnt have to be clever, or witty I'm not competing for a prize. My end of the month pay cheque doesnt count on what I do write (just as well or I'd be blogging from a cardboard box right now).


So from this day forward I henceforth decree.. I've always wanted to say that... prefably out aloud with lots of cheering and flag waving going on infront of me.. that I shall blog.

Anyone who accidently stumbled upon this and thought they might read it.. I am SO very sorry!
Thanks anyway, you are excused now...

Meanwhile back on planet Stark Raving Mad.  

New Year's Resolution!

Okay its the last day of January, and I thought this a good enough time to list my so far failing new year's resolutions for 2011.

1. Get fitter  - its been soooooo cold, and when its not cold its soooooo wet.
2. Shed a few pounds - please refer to number 1. Salad weather it is not.
3. Blog more.  
4. Be more positive
5. Read more 
6. watch TV less
7. Spend less time on computer social networking blah dee blah! 

Let's face it. I am not good at keeping resolutions.  However, in a positive way (see number 4) I am very good at NOT keeping resolutions.. Hurrah. success, go me!

Babies

I love babies!

I love the way they smell, the way the sleep in your arms, quite at peace in our troubled world. Oblivious to all that is happening around them. Occasionaly opening their eyes, getting an idea of where they are, who is holding them now.

Which brings me onto cuddles.  Nothing better than having a cuddle with a baby or even a toddler. They snuggles into you, enjoy the fact that you have a few wobbly soft bits that they can cwtch against.

My sister-in-law is very good at handing over my 8wk old neice for a cuddle. and even the 2yr old is partial to a a little cuddle with his auntie.

I dont really understand the view of some who dont like others having a cuddle with their babies - and I'm not talking about strangers in the street. I'm talking about family. There's something very precious about family. I dont have children of my own, maybe that's why some wont give me their babies to hold. Do they think I will drop them?

words

I love reading.  I love reading books, magazines, websites.. if its words I'll read it.  I dont think I am alone. but  dont know many others. Lots of my work colleagues "dont have time to read" .. what anything? I doubt it! I love curling up on the spare bed (quietest room in house) with sunshine coming through the window, or even with rain lashing against next doors rooftop.  I  love spending the last few minutes (hours) of my day lost in someone's else world. I love sitting in the sun while reading some spine-tingling ghost story.

Escape.

dreamin'

There are some people I'd like to be when I grow up..

1. The lady who lives next door to my friend Cath. She always looks as if she's stepped out of hairdressers, her hair perfectly styled. Always with a bit of make-up on, always some jewellery. Always smart. She looks like the sort of person who has a diary full of lunch engagements, dinner parties and relaxing holidays in warm climes or in a sheltered cottage at the base of a heather strewn mountain. I want to be her. No matter that she is in her ate 70's, that she tends towards idle gossip.
2. One of the sisters on Brother's & Sisters  ..partly I want to be Kitty - as she's married to Rob Lowe, though he's under the guise of a politician called Robert McCallister, and becuase she is so gorgeous. I also want to be Sarah Walker. Feisty, beautiful. 
3. Terri Hatcher. I liked her in the Superman TV series where she was Lois Lane, and I love her in the James Bond Tomorrow Never Dies - Paris Carver "tell me James, do you still sleep with a gun under your pillow"... and I LOVE LOVE her as Susan in Desparate Housewives. Now there's some ladies who always look glam (see number 1 above). Some of them work - some of them dont. All of them could fit their slim bodies into one leg of my jeans.... 
4. Rachel Allen. I am not sure exactly why I want to be her. She is a fabulous cook. A great presenter of her cooking programme, she always looks like she threw herself together and the result is fabulous. She has a gorgeous accent, her home looks lovely, its near the cliffs.. 

The thing is as I approach my forties surely I should have grown up by now. So why am I still looking for people I want to be. Why cant I just be happy with being myself. Afterall, she (me) I, is the person I have grown up to be.

Its been far too long since I updated this blog.

This should not be taken as a sign that my life has been full of parties, adventure or tragedy. It can be taken as a sign of my lack of concentration and dedication to blogging.
An easily distracted mind. 
If only I could be as easily distracted from chocolate!

New Year.. new me?

Happy New Year!  2010 has arrived with fireworks and music and dancing and oh yes a few of us were just sitting at home with a glass or two of wine, watching TV, on the computer.

What does 2010 hold for us, for me?

Resolutions are always broken.  But there are a few things I'd like to aim for :
Blog more... maybe I'll be more inclined to blog than write in a journal every evening.

Loose weight...  too much good food, not enough exercise in 2009 has left me feeling a bit heavier than I'd like...

Be a good wife, daughter, sister, auntie ..... etc .. not that I havent been, but going to aim higher.

Take up some creative hobbies, not sure what.. crossstitch? painting? jewellery making...  maybe I'll try all and see which one suits.

Read more.... and widen my material.. so more classics between the current bestsellers list.

Experiment more - with food, clothing, life....

Thats quite enough to be going on with.

Happy New Year wishes to all.

Festive fumbles!

I am in that no-mans' land that lies between Christmas & New Year.

Have taken the week off to relax.. and find that I am too lethargic to do anything of consequence. After 4 days of family day time visits I am afraid to let my guard down incase the doorbell rings, and another lot want lunch.

Family coming again tonight for a nice warm supper.

I have scouted the TV channels in the hope of finding some cheerful film, an inspiring documentary or even just some drivel to pass the time of day with. So far I am failing in my quest.

I cant believe a whole month has passed without me blogging. Well actually I can believe it. We've had house guests and between them and work I hardly had time to check email - let alone talk to myself on here. Having said that perhaps if I'd done a bit of talking I wouldnt have worked myself up into a stressful state.

However, the last two days have been warm and sunny. Lots has been done in the garden and lots of sitting in garden chair with a juicy book to keep me occupied.

today, a Bank Holiday - its wet!

I am back!

Well I've not been here for a while - no reason, no excuses.

Its sunday - day of rest. Sul Y blodau here in Wales - Palm Sunday in other words. its sunny but there's a patch of mist across the mountain, hope it doesnt come our way. I guess if I went outside and took a little walk to where I can see the sea, I'd see fog and not sea.

Today I feel as if I've been half hit by a bus! Spent most of yesterday moving furniture, cleaning, pushing, pulling, hoovering, and I feel it today. My back - which is unhappy most of the time - is unhappier than usual. So rest.

We've family expected later today staying for a few weeks while they look for a place to rent. This is why we were furniture moving yesterday. To fit them and child in our small double room while we move into the even smaller spare room. Single bed and camp bed.